Happy birthday?

Today is the 19th and so it's a former best friend's 22nd. Happy birthday "friend", if I'm still one...

I dont know if you will ever see or read this, but I just want to write it all out.

Since years ago, your family had got this very bad opinion against me. But you stayed through, &I thought our friendship was strong enough. No doubt, I admit that throughout these years after we graduated, I have neglected you somehow. But in anyway, I know I did tried to ask you out every now&then. But I gave up eventually after many times of trying and yet getting those reasons/excuses you gave. Everyone gets tired, no?

Especially on Birthdays. I remembered I took the initiative still to get the babes out to surprise you on your 19th birthday few years back despite you giving me reasons like you have to work etc. &on your 20th, I planned again with the girls&a cake for you. &finally till your 21st that I think I have given up. Because throughout these years, never once you turned up for my birthdays, no matter how many times you are asked, those reasons/excuses I'm so sick of them. Lose faith, I guess I should be the one.

Few weeks back, realised that you had changed your phone number&didnt update me. Do you know how much that hurts? I hate to admit, but it bothers me alot. &again, I tried to FB message you asking if you changed your number etc. No reply after 3 messages from me. And what surprised me was you actually blocked me from viewing your FB wall just a few days ago. Oh, so now I'm so irritating.

I know everyone will tell me "hey it's ok, it's not your fault that things turned out this way as you had tried to salvage it etc". But nobody knows how that really feels from having such a strong friendship in the past&now without a word, without doing anything wrong, it's gone.

Remember the song I once sang to you? I remembered&I still been telling my Bf, "hey I sang this song to one of my best friend before" although we arent really best friends anymore. In anyway, thanks for standing by me during Secondary days. Very much appreciated. For now on, take great care&may we meet again...